Screw the Community, I’m Going Home!
I’ve noticed something in the past couple of weeks, something that has startled and shocked me. After I chased that dog with the puffy tail for a couple of hours, I couldn’t help but notice the shabby state of the HW community. It is perhaps the most pitiful, malformed thing that I’ve ever seen outside of a mirror.
The first thing that I made note of was the fact that all of the sites seemed to be friendly towards each other. Hell, they could even crack jokes about each other right on their main news pages! “Disgraceful,” I said before scratching myself with one of the bones obtained from my recent slaying of a triceratops. Everyone knows that a major site in a gaming community must never make any attempts at anything amusing - you wouldn’t want to offend the one percent of the population that has not mastered the concept of a sense of humour. As for the friendliness factor… hadn’t they heard that a gaming community has to snipe at each other over every miniscule news bit that is concocted?
The second major problem with the HW community is the absolutely pathetic hit rates that each site seems to receive on an utterly pointless ratings board. As the smash hit “film” Godzilla proved during the summer of 1998, size does matter. Who the hell runs a site for the love of the game? Certainly not us; we do it because every hit to the site helps to cover up the fact that we don’t get any.
Perhaps my perspective is a tad skewed, but I thought that the debut release from a virtually unknown company would have at least the same amount of fan following as various sequels to games that have sold millions of copies. It’s just unnatural that more people aren’t aware of a game that hasn’t been hyped for four years.
It’s all well and good to point out the problems in the HW community but I’ve actually come up with a brilliant solution to them. In order to improve the community, I’ll insult the community. That makes sense to me - who wouldn’t want to be told that they’re doing a horrible job despite much evidence to the contrary?
Hopefully, the HW community can take a look at this article and improve themselves so that they’re a mirror image of some other gaming community (because all gaming communities are the same… there’s absolutely no variance between them). Or they could just link to us… either way I’m laughing.
-Pax
The views expressed in this article may not jive with those of the “Establishment.”